10.31.05

sicklunch at 2:32 pm

A few days a week I pack the CL his lunch. He is a very simple man and these lunches have had the same ingredients for a few years now. They all consist of a ham sandwich on sourdough bread, Yoplait yogurt, some type of cut up fruit, and some fruit leathers from Trader Joe�s or a chocolate pudding. Due to his line of work, lunches outside the office crop up now and again and the lunch goes uneaten. He is then instructed (yes, I must instruct sometimes) to throw said days lunch into the trash. Being the good husband he is, he always comments on how good the lunch was when he does eat it at his desk. I find amusement in this as it is the same damn thing day after day. He means well, trying to give me a pat on the back for being a good wife and all and I take it in stride. One day last week he called me at work and we had the following conversation.

Him: Not to be mean, but the fruit you packed this morning was moldy

Me: No way. I just bought it.

Him: Yeah, the apples had mold around the edges and the strawberries were gross.

Me: You didn�t have apples

Him: Yes, moldy apples

Me: No, you had grapes. Trust me I can remember what I packed five hours ago.

Him: No! It was apples. I�m not mad or anything, just letting you know so you can throw the rest out.

Me: What else was in that lunch?

Him: Ham sandwich, yogurt, and rice pudding.

Me: I didn�t pack rice pudding this morning. That�s not your lunch.

Him: Uh huh, it was in a Safeway bag, the sandwich is definitely one you made.

Me: Well, that is the lunch from a few weeks ago that I told you to throw away.

Him: Oh my god, am I going to get sick?

Me: We�ll see later this evening

This is just an obvious example of my opinion that men need more help than women. The thought process just isn�t the same. He is the most helpful guy in the world but he needs explicit instructions for everything. And I most certainly don�t want to be one of those overbearing girls that calls his secretary and asks her to throw the lunch out. That�s going a bit far. Botulism? It�s your own damn fault I say.

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