2005-01-17

Grocery Hell at 6:07 p.m.

My friends tease me about my obsession with grocery shopping. I admit to being somewhat obsessed with each grocery store�s offerings as well as the timing in which I frequent them. In my defense, I cook pretty much every night. I make most things from scratch. Ingredients are important to me and being able to find what I want and have it be edible is crucial. Today�s rant involves Albertsons because I just arrived home after visiting there and am stunned that they stay in business. I normally shop here or here but Albertsons is on my way home so I�ll stop if I just need a few items. I always feel the same when I leave. Why did I just give these people my money?

First, I must point out that this particular Albertsons is in one of the nicer, more upscale neighborhoods in my city. It caters to stay at home moms and people who will pay for quality food without batting an eye. This isn�t the welfare to work crowd or a struggling actor type area.

First lets start before entering. Albertsons shopping carts are located outside, about 40 feet from the entrance in a tunnel of cement. That means they are wedged in between two walls of cement and you have to walk down the tunnel (at least 20 feet) to yank a cart out and then guide it backwards gingerly without hitting anyone or having get caught on the curb. I�ve seen women with little kids trying to do this and getting so frustrated they turn around and leave. If you don�t need a cart and only want one of the hand held baskets, you�re out of luck. They do actually have them at the store but I�ve never seen them in their designated place in the front. Never. Weekday. Weekend. Doesn�t matter. They are hiding them somewhere. So if you only need five things but they�re large and heavy you either have to try and juggle them in your arms or go through the previously mentioned cart scenario.

Once in the store you are greeted by the liquor/soda section. I drink lots of carbonated water. It�s on the top shelf, unreachable by any female that didn�t used to be a male and it�s never stocked. I can honestly say that 9 times out of 10 they don�t have plain, carbonated water. They have the shelf with the label saying it�s there, but it�s not. Here�s a rundown of the rest of my shopping trip which gives a good glimpse of what I frequently find at Albertsons.

Dairy: All yogurt is a little more expensive than anywhere else and expires within the next three days. You can�t really stock up.

Beauty: All brands are regular price plus $2. Doesn�t matter what it is but they�re ripping you off.

Fruit: Usually not very fresh. Bananas are hard and green or mushy and black.

Meat: The worst. I won�t buy meat there. It looks bad to begin with and things that are labeled �fresh� have obvious freezer burn and won�t be thawed out to cook the same day. The beef is not wrapped properly and if you pick up a package you will have blood dripping down your arm. They also have �fresh� california rolls and a few other sushi choices. You can see the avocado has turned black in the rolls.

Cheese/lunch meat: Won�t buy this either. Once I bought a bag of shredded cheese and as I dumped it into a bowl with a bunch of other ingredients, the whole bottom portion was green with mold and I had to throw everything out. Likewise with sliced meats. I bought sliced turkey and when I got home I realized that the expiration date was 3 months prior.

Frozen: Ice cream is never fully frozen. There is no point in buying it as it will melt while you are waiting to pay for it (see below). I�ve actually gotten to the front of the line and given the clerk a pint of ice cream and told her that I didn�t want it anymore as it was liquefied.

Bakery: I once bought a loaf of sourdough bread. I got it home, had the rest of dinner ready, and opened up it�s plastic wrapping. Looked fine. Then I flipped it over. The entire bottom was green and black. It must have been sitting there for weeks.

Check-out: One self check and one regular checkstand open at all times. Never any more than this. Doesn�t matter how busy it is. Remember when they used to have �three�s a crowd� and if there were three or more in a line they opened up another? Not anymore. The middle checkstand is always the one open and the line snakes halfway up the frozen aisle. Now their motto should be �Wait 30 minutes everytime.� You have to allow for this half hour of waiting. Any time of day. It�s a large store with a lot of employees yet they don�t seem to be really working.

Employees: They know. They know so very well that they are working in a lose/lose situation. And it shows. At any given time you will see three or four just shooting the shit in an aisle. Even if you�re trying to grab something they don�t move out of the way. And to top it off, the one employee that has some type of mental challenge is always manning the one lane they have open. So it�s slow going.

I�m sure you�re wondering how I can shop there at all. Bottom line is that it�s right on my way home and if I don�t need anything perishable but just need a few items I do stop there. Plus, there is a Blockbuster and a Rite Aid in the same shopping center so it�s convenient when I need to make a few stops. But overall, I can�t believe that they haven�t gone under. I have let them know a few times that the products were unacceptable. Once with the moldy cheese and once with the moldy bread. With the cheese incident I received and apology and a $10 gift certificate. For the bread I didn�t get a response.

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