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2005-02-10

Welcome Bird Everyone at 1:34 p.m.

First off, Prince Charles sucks. He's marrying that whore? Awful. Not that I care. Really.


I need to introduce a new character on this blog. I'm sure you're all (as if there is an 'all") sick of me and A's only claim to fame is the interesting tidbits about his job which I can't write about anyway. So, a newby:


My friend, the Catholic observing lent by not swearing, is hereby to be referred to as Bird. Bird is getting a pseudonym not because she's a celebrity or a high powered executive but because the reasons we are friends is due to our quest to be as gross as possible. Our friendship was founded on being disgusting. Or as disgusting as two female adults can be. I'll go into it later but my first solid memory of bird is her teaching me to play "The Gross Out Game." This is a game that her and her husband invented and she was kind enough to share the rules with me and to play it with me. It basically involves coming up with two hideous scenarios involving unbelievable tasks and then, in a small amount of time, deciding which you would perform. If you had to. If a gun were being held to your head. The two items invariably included two qualifiers: 1. something sexual and 2. the sex act being performed with/by someone we knew or a well known celebrity. Basically we'd take the most disgusting person we knew and then descrie the most horrific sex act imaginable and pit that against, say giving a blow job to Drew Carey. You get the picture. So welcome bird and stay tuned.


Oops, I'm doing it again but I couldn't resist. Bird and I were just talking about Britney last night. She'll be a full blown white trash whore by the time she's 30. This photo shows the slow progression.


I didn't realize that people could get
this crazy and whacked out over some swedish drawers.

I met A. four years ago almost to the day. It was a few days before Valentine's Day and we both recall that it was kind of uncomfortable that our second date might fall on that fateful day. We didn't celebrate as we barely knew each other. It's become a habit to 'uncelebrate' this upcoming fete. It is fun to watch all the crazies come out though. Case in point.

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