2005-02-14

Mary Kay is getting married! at 12:14 p.m.

The following is a tirade of nothing.

Yesterday I wanted to ask A. about an anniversary gift I saw on TV. Here is the recap of this conversation:

ME: You know how they have that list of what to get people for their anniversary depending on the year?
A: Yep
ME: Like the first three years are Paper, Rock, Scissors.
A: What?
ME: Paper for the first year, rock for the second, then scissors. Paper, rock, scissors.
A: (Looking skeptical) No, I don�t think that�s how it goes. What about year four?
ME: Who stays married more than three years?

Ha Ha. I say all this in jest of course because it is Valentines Day and I promised myself I�d try to be nice.

I've been noticing (as I've said before) that the level of spam I receive on one of my email accounts is over the top. It's ridiculous really. Hundreds and hundreds of bogus emails. The weekends are the worst. Sometimes they are amusing though. I got a great one yesterday from a 'Christrian Mortgage Broker.' They claim to be able to help my refinance my house 'in a spiritual way.' Please. Unless God is going to show up on my porch and help me fill out the application, back off.

The following is from my favorite consumer column in the SJ Mercury News:

Q My next-door neighbor has a 12-by-6-foot open-air tow trailer permanently parked in front of his house, right up to the edge of my property.
It is an eyesore. It makes our middle-class neighborhood look like a working-class neighborhood and the front of my house never gets cleaned by the street cleaner, which veers to avoid their metal contraption.
I've heard other neighbors grumbling as well.
The logical part of me thinks that he does have a right to park whatever he wants, in front of his house. And, even if we complain, where would he move it?
His garage is not usable and his driveway is completely full.

I just can't get past the sentence where she (yes, its a she of course) says it makes her middle-class neighborhood look like working-class. The snob factor just blew me away. Since when is working-class a bad thing? Her full name is printed in the article which leads me to believe she's either going to be untangling toilet paper from her trees or wiping egg from her car come tomorrow.

This grosses me out on many levels.

I'm not trying to make light of this but is this type of sentence really necessary? The last I checked, humans don't have a lifespan like this.

And in honor of VDay...this is my favorite on Craigslist this morning:

hapy valentinesday to all you ladys loney guy without a valentine girl - m4w - 47 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reply to: [email protected] Date: 2005-02-14, 10:36AM PST to all you ladies happy valentines day!! from a lonley guy with no girlfriend if any ladie needs a boyfriend please contact me really appreciate it

The spelling and sentence structure make me so sad. I feel SO bad for him. No really. I do. Honest.

Ok, ok. The point of the title. Mary Kay and the sixth grader have announced their wedding. I know he's not still in the sixth grade but he might as well be. The news states that although she served seven years for child rape, their friends are excited to finally see them together. The whole thing is so disgusting, it's laughable. They're registered at Macys. I couldn't help but looking. There it is in black and white. She rapes a 12 year kid, has two children with him, and now she wants her own Kitchenaid.

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