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2005-04-25

I heart ? at 1:02 p.m.

I had a fun weekend for the most part. Friday afternoon I got a pedicure at my favorite little El Cheapo place in my neighborhood. You can't beat the price but you do want to beat the clientele. The pedicures (and other services) are cheap and it attracts a certain element. Yes, including me, but still. So the woman sitting next to me was a. a hag b. wearing ill fitting old people clothes and c. a hag (Oh, did I already say that?). So when I get a pedicure I like to read a magazine and just tune out. I was doing this and the hag kept talking about this one toenail. She called it 'the little rascal.' I thought I would barf. She kept telling the girl working on her (who didn't speak a word of English mind you) "Oh, that little rascal keeps growing the wrong way" and "That little rascal's got a mind of its own." I wanted to slap her and I was sitting close enough that I almost did.


On Saturday A. and I were talking about our will. We don't really have one as we don't have anything to dole out to anyone anyway. But it important that we know what to do with the body. So he said "Ok, we're both agreed that we want to be cremated right?" And of course I said yes. I can't stand the whole coffin/dead body in the ground thing. I find it to be a total waste of space. He then asked where I'd like my ashes to be scattered. Scattered? I don't really care, I told him, in the garbage is fine with me. He got this pensive look on his face and said "I think I will scatter your ashes in Ross." "Yes, yes, I will carry you in a packet in my pocket and walk through Ross sprinkling them about. And maybe Marshalls too." At least he knows where the most appropriate resting place for me would be.


Dude, you're so messed up it's not even funny. I'm sure. Can you imagine what you'll tell your future kids? Oh, we met when I whipped out my penis and your mom loved me instantly.


Britney stuff: I actually find Britney's t-shirt messages somewhat endearing. I mean they are way trashy but the whole idea of putting your message across your tits makes me laugh and laugh. So I found this site which lets your cutomize your own clothes. I plan on at least ordering some fun things to wear when I walk the dog. Any ideas? Come on, don't be shy.

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