08.02.05

MotleyCrue at 3:18 pm

I am so renting a dwarf for my next party.

A quick check of my spam has me feeling profiled. Not in a racial way but in a way that says they may have done their homework on me a bit. I have at least 10 emails offering to let me take part in a beer survey. A beer survey you say? What could be better? Well, I was just about to take them up on it when I scrolled down and saw that a Pringles survey was also being offered. The Pringles survey offered free Pringles for a year. That�s irresistible. Another email must have known that I just changed my Dish service at home as they were offering a great rebate on ChristianDish. Yes, you can get a satellite to beam in high quality Christian programming. Now, while these people had the right idea about the dish, they absolutely blew it on thinking I�d watch anything remotely religious. The last two emails just made me smile. The first offered to have a free paternity test performed for A. Funny as I�m not pregnant and just funny in general as it made me think I was electronically on Jerry Springer. The second announced that I HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED TO MEDICAL SCHOOL. Can you believe it? Mom, are you reading this? I�ve always wanted to be a doctor. I had no idea that you didn�t have to really apply to school or anything. They just pick you. I�ll let you all know when I perform my first surgery. Oh, and I�ll offer a discount for Botox and such.

I stole this from Mimi Smartypants but I couldn't get past the pails of food you can buy these days. And check out how much is out of stock. That should be telling us all something. I bet the same people that are getting 'that' dish tv are also buying this pre-packaged food. Just a thought.

Only in Sacramento would there be a story about an upscale mobile home park which we all know is an oxymoron. Plus, its owned by the Catholics. You're all going to hell.

Craigs List Missed Connections flat out never disappoint. Today's hot guy post is from someone trying to find a girl he met at the Motley Crue concert. I love Motley Crue myself but definitely wouldn't want to hook up there. What made the post funny was this person's response to Motley Crue guy.

Why does this cat have a gun?

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08.01.05

cheesecurd at 1:11 pm

Sacramento should have a slogan. I�m sure it does but I think it should have one given by me. Yes, by me. The slogan I choose is �Sacramento is the jaywalker�s wet dream� and yes, I know it sounds a tad vulgar. But seriously folks, Sacramento has more misbehaving pedestrians than anywhere I have ever lived. Or visited for that matter. It doesn�t matter where in the city you�re driving but you have to constantly be on the lookout for �Suzie on Cell phone� darting out between some parked cars looking completely the wrong direction of traffic. Or it might be �Sam the cool guy who is showing his underwear to the world while strutting his stuff� not wanting to walk the extra 20 feet to the crosswalk and just bolts out in front of you. Most of the Sacramento jaywalkers have a look on their faces that says, �I am superior. I can cross in front of your stupid car and you have to slam on your brakes if you don�t want blood and tissue on your nice paint.� I only commute about six miles total each day and yet just in the midtown to Tahoe Park area drive I swerve at least once on every trip. This is something I noticed right when I moved here and is becoming worse with every passing day. I think that people are actually moving here because their jaywalking friends have told them that you don�t have to follow any basic rules here and no one will hit you.

Remember the radio station that I was all up in arms about last week? The Spanish language formatting putting me over the edge? Well, of course I'm too lazy to have changed the settings on the car stereo yet and so I ended up clicking on it numerous times over the weekend. It took me a few times to realize that it hadn't changed to Spanish. It had changed to Christian rock. Oh Lord.

I've been meaning to say something about a sign that has been hanging in front of the new A&W for weeks. It's for their new 'Cheese Curds". I drive by that sign twice a day and all I can think is that it's either misspelled or something has a messed up sense of humor over at the A&W corporate office. I then found this site about the curds and couldn't believe it. They have a following. And it clearly explains that if you didn't grow up in Wisconsin you probably wouldn't appreciate the name. Damn, yet another thing lost on growing up in California.

An entire website about burritos? Genius I say! This guy really knows how to pick a topic and run with it.

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