2005-05-06

Charles Manson is Hot at 11:15 a.m.

Read with caution: Gross out scenario ahead.

I was watching that �I Love the 70s� on VH1 yesterday and they had a segment about The Joy of Sex. It was a big deal when it first came out and the sketches were so gross. Just looking at them now makes you want to keep your zipper zipped. All the hair! These sketches were obviously drawn by someone who a) had never heard of the Brazilian bikini wax and b) thought all men should look like Charles Manson.
In any event, they were panning the camera to a section about a particular type of sex and it said �Almost 100% of people attempt this type of sex with each partner they have.� I�m not going to go into detail but it�s my least favorite type of sex. But the quote was true. You have to at least try it with the person you�re with or you�re just not normal. And who knows, maybe at some point you�ll figure out a way to bend your body (or bend his) that makes it pleasurable and worth it. But mostly it�s not worth it at all. So I was thinking that I�ve been married for more than a year and this �act� hasn�t been attempted with my husband for gods sake. It kind of creeped me out. How did we miss that? I know HE would enjoy it and I know he�s tried more than once. So, as we stood in the kitchen casually discussing our day last night I mentioned it. �You know we�ve never done that� I said. To which he replied �Uh, we did that in Aruba, don�t you remember?� and I really didn�t for a minute. And then it hit me, the twisting and the bending and the five vodka cranberries I had beforehand to get me through. Oh yeah, I kind of remember. Either way, my duty is fulfilled here.

There are tons of Craig's List posts that refer to some strange things going on over on Drake Drive. Doesn't it make you want to move there? Or at least drive by?

This poor, sad girl made me laugh. I was going to go to this concert and then didn't. I can't believe I missed the chance to dance on stage with Rick Springfield. Well, we all know he wouldn't have picked me although, lets be honest, I'm much more (and legally so) in his age group then this girl who came with her mother. Those rocks stars though.

Where my daughter will probably go to college.

Don't ignore me or anal sex please.

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