2005-05-24

Hamburgers in Paris at 10:33 a.m.

I�m wearing some new Capri pants that have a snap, a button, a zipper, and a tie. Is all of this really necessary? My god, what are they protecting? Are they for chaste girls or something? I mean I know they probably came from the juniors department and all but this is ridiculous. For someone who makes many trips to the bathroom a day, these are proving to be quite cumbersome. Note to self: Do not ever wear these pants to a bar. Beer goes right through you and you�d spend the whole night in the bathroom wrestling with your pants. And speaking of bathroom trips, another photo of Britney going into a public restroom graces our presence today. Britney, when will you learn? It�s not that I�ve never used a public restroom myself (I obviously have with my tiny bladder) but this girl needs a catheter! I mean there are more photos of her entering (semi gross) public restrooms than there are of her on the red carpet at some event. She has millions of dollars? Why are we only seeing these photos? I�m sorry but I�m going to have to blame K-Fed. She didn�t seem to be caught in this many uncompromising positions before this marriage.

I had a simple blood test five days ago and the tiny prick in my arm has morphed into a giant yellow/purple bruise worthy of a hard core junkie. I was planning a lunch outing to Target today and now I feel like I will fit right in. The weekday, middle of the day crowd at the Target by my office is made up of the homeless and the junkies.

This weekend was a dud for the most part. My fault entirely. I just felt like a giant slug all day Saturday and barely left the house. The evening was better as A. made his famous bbq ribs which were to die for as usual. Sunday was better and I seemed to rally enough to take a quick trip to Ross. It was ok but Ross is the place to go for visual birth control, let me tell you. What I don�t understand is why people can�t hire babysitters anymore. When I was a kid my mom always hired sitters when she went out shopping or to lunch with friends. When I was old enough to behave, I was brought along. Ross had a �circus like� aura with unattended toddlers and a bunch of 8 year old boys running through the store screaming. Pathetic, really. Now don�t chock this up to being a Ross specific problem. I talked to B. earlier in the day and she encountered the same unruliness at Macys. Word to Parents: Leave your kids at home unless they can behave.

Today's product endorsement cause they're yummy. Try them.

And lastly, this article about so called porn has to make you chuckle a bit.Let them sell their damn burgers already. A. took one look at this ad and declared �I want a hamburger� so it is working. Parents? Sheesh. Get a grip.

Why isn't anything linking to me?

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