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sometimes old people suck at 4:36 pm

Oh, Alhambra Safeway, you know I love you. We go way back but youíre starting to grate on my nerves. Yesterday may have been the last straw. Surprisingly, it is your great customer service that will be the end of our friendship. See, the woman two in front of me was old, Iíd guess mid 90s. She had a scooter and too many groceries for the express line. But hey, I wasnít in that big of a hurry and there was only one person after her so I got in line. Stupid move. First she had no club card. Your store policy is to let the customer FILL OUT THE FORM WHILE STILL IN LINE. Is this smart? You let a 90-year-old woman with shaky hands fill out a form while everyone in line waits? In any event, it was now too late to move to another line as it was 5pm and the store was filling up quickly. Said old woman then wrote a check. Mind you this is really just a pet peeve of mine but I donít think you should take checks in the express lane. THATíS NOT EXPRESS. Then your nifty Safeway computer said that the check writer needed to show ID and the scooter lady (of course) had none. I bolted first and the guy in front of me followed suit. I let him toss his stuff on the belt of our new line first and then I heaved up my basked and banged it down hard. Your manager (who was checking in that line) asked us if there was a problem. We explained what had happened and she offered to Ďcompí our groceries. Please. We were in the express line. We each had like five items. I donít want your money, dear Safeway. I want you to change your policy to accommodate those of us who know how to shop. Rant over.

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Mind your manners at 8:26 am

This Sac Rag piece on the H2 parking in the handicapped spot came to mind yesterday as I stopped at Trader Joes on my way home. Everyone knows that at Trader Joes, parking comes at a premium. There are guidelines to be followed. You need to be courteous. You need to be kind. You need to park between the lines. As I walked to my car, (quickly, so someone could get my spot as soon as I pulled out) a giant SUV barreled into the spot next to me and beyond. I stood there with my bags thinking, ďIs she going to straighten that thing out or really take up two spots?Ē Asked and answered as she jumped out of her car, caught the look on my face, scowled, and proceeded to bounce across the lot and into the entrance. I donít know what my legal department would say but letís just say Iím hoping she was in a hurry to get some low fat treats. Iím also hoping that the man waiting patiently to take the spot next to her (which he couldnít now) had a large set of keys with him or possibly a pocketknife.

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Move Already! at 10:33 am

The funny thing about East Sac is that a lot of its residents think they live in a gated community. I think itís safe to assume we all know that that isnít the case. I know Iíve been stared at and scolded for parking my car along 47th to go to Pilates on Saturday mornings on numerous occasions. Usually I just shrug my shoulders, mumble that itís a public street, grab my mat and keep walking.

Yesterday on my way home along 48th, I encountered this scene:

Yes, someone was moving. Yes, Iím hoping they were getting out of East Sac and moving to Granite Bay so they could have CC&Rs and drive each other batty. What the picture may not convey is the positioning of these two moving trucks. Because of the Hummer and Escalade that were already parked in front of two houses, the homeowner had the nice folks from Allied Moving park one truck on each side of the street. Brilliant idea. What is normally a nice trip down a beautiful tree lined street was reduced to a one-way tunnel between two moving trucks. Since we all know Sacramento drivers, this wasnít a good thing. There was a line of about 10 cars on either side of these trucks trying to figure out who had the right of way to enter the tunnel. You pretty much had to hold your breath and just go. Now, if the Hummer and Escalade could have just moved into their respective driveways we all would have been ok.

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steel magnolia at 4:18 pm

Reader #3 emailed me late last week to tell me that the freakish chrome statue in front of etc. (you gotta scroll down) has a little moustache engraved above his lip. I felt the need to report back on this if only to show that three people actually read this and send me little tips. Today though, Slim Shady (I donít want his name to be Bob) irked me. Heís wearing a pink sailor hat, pink boa, pink heart-shaped sunglasses and his sign reads, ďWho has buns of steel?Ē I know itís supposed to be a play on words (yes, youíre steel, ha ha) but the sign turned me off because I read tone into it like he was daring me in some way. I felt like he was showing off a bit much by saying he had a nicer ass than me and that is know way to bring in business. I really do not want to go to that store anymore. That statue is weird and insulting and I really want to kick it the next time I go by there.

Furthermore, did skateboarding come back into fashion? I know it was all the rage when I was in junior high but midtown is getting a bit ridiculous. Specifically Iíd like to address the guy who has been practicing on a particular corner by etc. (no, not the statue) every morning for the past week between oh, says 10 and noon? In front of the glass of an office building? Dude, thatís my building. Youíre practically skateboarding in my office. Plus, you biffed like 30 times so you obviously suck. Please go practice in an empty parking lot somewhere. Or a freeway onramp. Your choice.

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